When I first read this post this past weekend I cried, so I had to let it sit for a bit. The worst part of this is I see both my H and my exH in this.
Originally Posted by wooba
H came home this morning to make breakfast, then he was in the mood to chitchat so we sat around and talked a bit, even watched some TV together. It makes my heart ache a little bit when we're having nice moments like these. Because I know it's fleeting. I enjoyed all the familiarity about him, but do I still love this man the way I did? I don't even know how to answer that.
This part is my exH to a T. When he can get his sh*t together long enough to participate in our kid's life and he's sober and wants to behave like an adult I have a quick moment where I wonder how things would've been if he had gotten the help he needed. The feelings are so gone, and have been for so long that it isn't really love there. It's almost like nostalgia. And then my heart hurts for my kid for a second until I remember her sweet little 5 year old face asking me to leave him. Or exH ruins it by opening his mouth.
Originally Posted by wooba
H is running still. currently running away from his issues using work. must be hard to use something you hate so much to run away from your problems.
some time last week we had a friendly conversation and I was able to slip this in as a joke, "Are you having a mid life crisis?"
H replied with a laugh, "You think?"
We both laughed.
This is my H. And I'm starting wonder why I attract broken people. Why all of us attracted broken people.
Stay strong wooba. This won't traumatize the kids they way you think it will. And for some strange reason they seem to adapt really well to one parent carrying the load. I'm going to hazard a guess that in most cases in their world very little changes other than there are two homes and two Christmases. You got this my friend.
