Seems like things are going well with you and your kids. That's a good thing
LH is right. You set your own narrative. You wrote apology letters - so what? You were doing everything you could to keep your MR together. That's what it looks like when you step out of your perspective.
If you choose to give those letters and pulling the car over power, they have power. If you see them for what they were - then their importance lessens.
I'm not saying you have to pretend things didn't happen. Acknowledge everything, accept that it happened, but also acknowledge that they were just normal things to do for someone who was under tremendous stress and desperate to save his M.
I think most people on the outside looking in would see that.
