It didn't sound like to me he actually yelled at her however for some reason she was more concerned about him yelling than her own mom. My daughter just said that when she told him that she didn't know what 9x7 was he said you should know that. My guess is that made her feel stupid, she has dyslexia, so I am sure that comment was part of the trigger. If anything poor bedside manner on his part.
The difference G is when the Doc is around I do not interject with her son. For example, last Friday he started crying because he didn't want to get his picture taken with all of us when we were hanging out. My daughter made a comment to him, something along the lines of, "it's no big deal, it's just a picture". I had to jump in and let her know that it was not her place to intervene that it was between him and the Doc. Sure different story when I am 100% responsible for him but when the Doc is there, not my place. I am just concerned that my XW is just sitting by letting him run the show and she is happy to allow him to do so. He is also just a BF, not step-parent, but a BF.
The Doc's XH is also not involved which is different than having 50/50. If I was on the state visitation plan then it would probably be easier as I have already agreed to not be a full time parent (for whatever reason). Having 50/50 makes it worse IMO because you directly see what is or is not happening in the other house. You also have no control either. she could marry him tomorrow and it is what it is. From what I understand about him is that he is very strict, used to be a cop and sounds like he has little man syndrome (he is 5'6) and drives this jacked up jeep. I am really judging here I know but I sure hope is not arrogant and full of all the male bravado. Something tells me he is. His kids are older, 1 in college and 1 a senior in high school. One boy and 1 girl.
I told my XW what happened and what my daughter said. I will just have to observe moving forward and see how she behaves or what else comes out of her mouth about the BF. I won't ask them specifically about it but I will make sure that generically they know they can come to me with anything they want to discuss. The XW indicated it was no big deal and recalled the situation where it transpired. Word matter though so I hope she tells him what my daughter said and how it made her feel.
I don't want to be BFF's with the guy but it will be much better for my daughters if we can at minimum get a long and have the ability to BS with each other. I just don't have a lot of options and the options I do have are not good ones.
