Since never getting a reply I just assume he is not coming home today... was wrong... he came home at the time I mentioned.
H didn't say anything and took shower. I went and played with dogs. He comes poking around not really saying much and then asking financial questions. He then said that legal S is just living separately. Nothing is divided up so assets and debt can continue to mount. He dosen't like the lack of division and if he buys a house during this time its another debt/asset.
I said I want a cooling off period. I don't like dealing with this while there is so much stress at play. He said yeah, the atty said it was to just destress the situation.
I can trust you not to run up a lot debt and you will have to trust me that I will not take the equity out of the house for a luxury vacation.
H looks like crap --- he isn't sleeping, his stress is over the top. He is clearly burning it at both ends.
I gave him some papers to show what he owes me for his gym membership, car insurance and cell phone bill. He acted like he didn't owe me anything because nothing has changed yet... I do not need to keep paying his cell bill while his income goes to his toys.
He asks if I have plans for the weekend. I said I'm working and then a couple of outings. He said he was going to a friends Thursday and he had a birthday party to go to this weekend. (I've known about this party for 1 month - and yes A will be there.)
Now I NEVER check the cell phone bill. Its auto deducted. But, today I logged on to print bill to show H breakdown of what he owes.
I go back to work and start getting texts about am I checking his call logs? No... why? Well apparently I only pulled the first page of the bill... there were call logs for all 3 lines...
H accused me of snooping... I simply said I don't have the time and I don't care.
This is they guy who went snooping on my FB account twice... whatever. But hey if he is going to get that defensive I'm a gonna go look... lol. And, even then whatever... its proof but I already know. So what does it really do for me? NOTHING.
I then said: We both read the book 10 years ago. I know exactly what is happening and I know exactly why it is happening.
Of course he asked what book - told him. Gosh golly despite having read it ten year ago I should have been reading it every 3. This is a perfect textbook scenario.
I said X to him... He said that he had been that way for a long time and he tried to tell me... I said i see that now.
It ended with me telling him I cannot change the past but can only focus on the here and now. Told him he needed to move out and reduce his stress. I want a cooling off period. I want a separation. I want you to find your peace.
NOW - for me tonight is to make sure I don't feel bad about anything I said or did today. I will exercise and read DR. I will not be constantly looking at my phone. Tomorrow I will go for my massage ( was our monthly couples massage - his loss). I will be strong in taking my power back.
