If he has a trust fund and works, why can’t he afford another car? Is he chronically underemployed because he has the trust fund to fall back on?
He works a lot yet we were living paycheck to paycheck even with the dividends (I was a homemaker) however I'm a wizard with money so he lacked for nothing. Unaware of my wizardry he thinks he has more money than he actually does. I get a job and he dumps me.
He does make 4x as much as me but he had to pay all my bills (and his) after moving out. Then he didn't realize how much it costs to set up TWO households once we moved. No biggie he will just get a 2nd job (his answer to everything) to pay it all off. Easy since he's paying me peanuts. If he did everything right (he can't) he could have all this paid off in 7 months (we're in month 5). Instead he spends....content in the knowledge that I won't ask for more money. Why do today when you put it off until tomorrow?? Lets PARTY!!
So buying a used car is no big deal until you add it in with everything else. Substantial tax bill, tax return fees, alimony, increased CS, legal fees, etc.
He will be fine of course. In the long run he will come out way ahead even if he struggles for a bit. It's annoying.
Pain today. Woke up with a bad headache. My IC says it’s because court is Monday and it’s all hitting.
Went out to eat with S19 last night and he joked H should buy a corvette to go with his MLC. H has been home more than he’s ever been because he’s got the flu. He’s being nice to me but that’s probably due to the OW. No reason to be ugly when his life is great. D14 is in a pageant tonight and he agreed to stay away for me and D17. He paid D17 $200 for doing nothing while he was out of town. Throwing money at D14 for tanning, the dress, gave me money for the video. I’m paying for hair and makeup. Shouldn’t be but I’m optimistic about alimony and besides this is it. No more after today. It’s back to beans and rice for me.
H wants us to take lots of pictures and was afraid we won’t. D14 told him I’m grateful he’s letting me have this so I will go above and beyond. None of this is true but I took my meds and feel like doing the right thing. If he went I wasn’t. I just can’t. 30 years and I was replaced. Just like that.
Appears unfazed by recent events. He accidentally picked up D17s anti depressants. No reaction. The only thing I did see was him being all dramatic about his little more than a fender bender. Oh he’s so sore.... The only reason it got totaled is because it’s an old truck with high mileage and the repairs are costly.
He tried so hard to get the kids to feel sorry for him. They did for about 5 minutes but then moved on. He’s rarely home and he expects attention? The kids would jump through hoops for me but he gets nothing.
Just read a quote that says use your heartbreak as a launching pad. Okay yeah this is hard and painful but I will do this if it kills me. It’s not helping that my head is throbbing and I rarely get headaches now. Used to have them all the time. D14s makeup is done and wow she’s gorgeous. I’m in a really great salon downtown. It’s a happy place with beautiful people who love life. D14 is getting her hair done now. She’s never done a pageant it’s just this thing in middle school. I hope she wins something. She needs a happy so much.
I said a quick prayer for you yesterday. Hope you are ok.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I can't make it a day without the anti anxiety meds which bothers me. Low dose and only 9 days but still. My goal is to use these (as needed) to get through the support hearing, which I still don't know anything. It's only been 2 days though. I'm okay at work it's when I get home that my anxiety hits. I'm having headaches, have knots in my back and even my teeth hurt. I'm not giving up though. It's just stress and it will pass. I have to have faith that I will get through this but first....pain.
The most useful statement I read at this point in my divorce was - Let Go or Be Dragged. Once I let go, accepted that this was happening, I felt a lot less stress.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ what kml said!!!!! I know it is hard, kas. Trust me. I have been there and done that, but at some point, you have to figure out how to let go so that you can work on yourself and be there for your kids. It is not easy or fun or a short process for sure, but once you figure out how to let go, it is like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders. What you are going through is awful, ugly, painful and it hurts like a son of a gun and no one expects you to just brush it off, but try to find peace and start letting go and things will look a lot different and a lot better. Hang in there! Continued prayers and positive thoughts are coming your way.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
The most useful statement I read at this point in my divorce was - Let Go or Be Dragged. Once I let go, accepted that this was happening, I felt a lot less stress.
I'm ashamed to say this out loud after 30 years but my H wasn't a happy man. Loving him, longing for him meant chronic pain because he wasn't happy. He thought he was better than me and I bought it. Put him on a pedestal and would do anything for him convinced one day I'd get it right. Never happened then he moved on to greener pastures.
The other day I had a moment where I was glad I wasn't with him anymore. He's a total buzz kill, sexist, a racist, homophobic, just the most miserable, judgmental person. But he smiles, will do anything for anyone, he's just this great guy but it is exhausting so can't possibly expect a man like this to play catch in the backyard. He wasn't all bad of course there was just this underlying feeling of we were bothering him. He preferred to spend his free time sleeping or watching tv.
He complained about work, they mistreated him, they didn't work as much as he did. Complained about money, there was never enough, life was unfair, everyone else had a new car, everyone else took vacations, etc. Tried to start several businesses that his friends were in but they just ended up costing us thousands of dollars which I paid off by doing things like couponing and cooking from scratch. I tried to make this work.
I'm not a saint as I too was negative but I swear I was not to this level. I'd be like wow it's snowed lets go out and play with the kids. He looked at me like I'd lost my mind.
