Riding the Wave 2

[may22]

Ok so I'm just going to say it. My dance class is a pole dancing class. I have that 1 day a week. Plus 1 more day I do something called pole fit there which is a strength and flexibility course specifically geared toward the muscle groups and flexibility you need for the pole. I do yoga once a week at the Y with my bff. And then I run 3 days a week. If I work out more with as much as I struggle to eat these days I might die...lol. Granted I was a big girl before this, but I'm getting ever closer to an average sized girl now and I'm running out of wiggle room with the dramatic weight loss.

ooohh.... that sounds amazing. I want to do that! I decided I want to do some ab work now that I (also) don't really want to lose any more weight but want to work on my abs. Maybe pilates if I can't find a pole class

I think this is also pulling him out of the way he viewed me too, but different way. He really was so far gone he couldn't see me as a sexual being. I was furniture that cooked before. I think him remembering what that part of our life was like is piece that's been missing in all this new found interest in the life we were living. I'm not exactly expecting roses or for him to be asking for a date night any time soon. But romance starts with attraction. Him willingly admitting attraction is one thing here that I'm willing to let myself read into. And the reassessing is definitely a conversation that I had with myself and I'm sure I'll have with my bff soon. You think a lot like her, May

This exactly mirrors what has happened with H and me also, though over a longer time frame. Six-nine months ago he was totally grossed out by the idea of having sex with me and he did this visible yech shake thing when we talked about it. So I stayed way, way back. We are in a totally different place now in/re sex and I know he is attracted to me. (TBH we have been sleeping together a tiny bit more than I've let on in my thread-- not all the time but there have been a few times I haven't shared about. But for me it is a really good thing for myself as I learn more about my own sexuality and recalibrating now that I no longer need to see my self as a low-sex-drive person.) That part you just said about romance starting with attraction is interesting too-- I hadn't really thought about it that way but you're right, it is certainly a step in the right direction.

I need to get the book, but we share the amazon account. I was able to get DR through my target app on my phone. I'm trying to not be super obvious about the books I'm reading about this. Not just because of the Sandi recommendation but one of the sticks in his craw over our MR or just a personality quirk I guess is that I find a subject and consume everything available to me about the subject. Then apparently not only do I think I know everything but a consuming interest in any subject is also very annoying. I was unaware of this until recently...lol.

OMG Wayfarer, THIS IS ME!! This is me exactly!!! And it is annoying my H no end right now. (Although he likes it when we do big projects together because I read everything that was ever written on the topic and he gets to get the cliff notes version.) Also if you order a book on Amazon you can archive the order right away so he doesn't see it in your list of things you bought. Or maybe get your friend to buy for you. I think it might be helpful as long as you can resist not giving your H recommendations on what needs to happen in order for him to let go mentally of AP or whatever... speaking from experience.

I don't know If I have anything new, but I think this weekend is candle lit bath weekend. Maybe I'll try a new wine

Good idea! You sound great. Have fun with your BFF--- wish we could all hang out!!