Divorce because I betrayed her trust - PART 7

[DaB35]

Hi AS, thanks. From May 2019 to Feb 2020. All gone in less than a year. I have never had as much money in the bank before now, but at what cost? I have lost a gorgeous partner, a house and a lifestyle I loved.

I do think it's her loss. She could've waited 5-6 months and I'd be able to start showing her my changed attitude to life in general.

I have given my parents her share of their money. They said I can keep my share as savings towards my next place. I've stashed it away in an account I can't access for a few months.

My mum feels sorry for XW - she feels she was being rushed by others in packing her things (hence why she left so much of her stuff behind) and that her family haven't really helped her that much. We don't know that of course as she hasn't said anything, but from what she's told me I think only her brother and his W have helped her move her stuff out. And she said after BD, "I'd always choose my family over a partner. Any day of the week."

I feel guilty about not saying anything to her at all. Is that normal? It feels so cold, but then is that textbook DBing? After D has actually happened, go 100% dark in the knowledge that XW will certainly get to hear about my changes and improvements eventually?

But then...as I'm typing that I'm also thinking - am I hoping that happens so I can prove her and her friends/family wrong? Am I hoping it will make her feel guilty - that she was way too impulsive, and did this entirely based on emotion rather than logic? Or do I think that by the time she does see me, will I have moved on from her completely and not want her back? Or, am I just going dark simply because it's the best thing to help me DB further?

I know it's hard to know how I'll feel in a week, let alone six months to a year, but I must keep the focus on me and keep DBing and GALing. I'm off to the gym.