1st Anniversary of Limbo, Indecisive WAH (part 2)

[Pommy99]

So update from the rest of the weekend.

H went to visit a old friend in Sat pm - divorced with children. I was concerned that this is yet another person he has confided in - I think that’s 8 or 9 now. I read a comment on OG’s thread from Steve85 that the less people they tell, the less likely they are to go through with their exit. As expected , old friend gave him advice that supported his inclination to leave. On Sun morning he met up with another divorced friend who is pro marriage. On his return home we had a really long talk and H has now proposed trial separation. He knows my thoughts on trial separation: that it is just to soften the blow for the LBS, or serve as a Plan B for the WAS. H say he is so full of doubts he doesn’t want to call time on our M but knows that nothing will change unless something breaks the cycle of constant confusion about whether to stay or go. I will only consider a trial separation if we have some objectives and ground rules in place. I am interested in the first instance what his stance is on dating and sex, because I feel if he is open to dating and sleeping with other people then he isn’t looking at if he can save a marriage. And even if he does suggest no sex/dating then I only have his word that he’s not breaking these rules ,

What are other people’s views on trial separations? And as LBS, what do I need to do?

I’ve anti-DBed this weekend , telling H several times that I don’t want him to leave (but that I understand why he feels the need). Last night I said that he could sleep in the MBR as he was leaving anyway and it wouldn’t make any difference now where he slept. He declined and chose the uncomfortable option. I was hurt but I knew that the only reason I wanted him to stay in the MBR was for my own comfort as I’m doing such a cr@p job at detaching from him.

Today he came and lay on the bed. In his undies. We talked, we hugged , we kissed (not passionately) and then I told him I missed being close to him and missed him holding me and I really wanted some intimacy with him. He declined , ugh. Rejection. Again.

Today we were both working at home. He cried. I haven’t seen him cry since 2010. He cried because of what he is putting me through, how he is hurting me, how strong I have been, how much I have put up with for so long. I wasn’t sure what to make of it tbh. He says he’s not going to sign the rental contract until the last second...probably the weekend. I’m not sure why he’s delaying, but assume it’s a good thing?