Divorce because I betrayed her trust - PART 7

[DaB35]

Technology always finds a way. Just got an automated email saying the decree absolute is final - how quick was that?!

I'm in shock.

I am divorced. I am no longer married. I now have an XW. I am an XH.

I am so sad that W chucked this all away. 8 years. 8 wonderful years full of love and laughter. Sad she felt there was no way we could fix things. I wanted to work on the M. I really did. I offered transparency, I sought IC, I paid for/tookpassed a polygraph test. But she had made up her mind within 24hrs of discovering what I did. I am now another statistic.

I want to still be a lighthouse of sorts. I still care for her. I am frustrated at how her friends and family have enabled her. I do not hate her. Even though she's been extremely distant (haven't seen her for 5-6 months), and seems to have forgotten what she said in August ("If we could have a friendship I'd love that...I care about your happiness...I have no doubt you can change and sort yourself out").

I will keep DBing. I will keep up the gym, my creative projects, putting in lots of effort at work, and just keeping PMA. I know this will be hard. I feel a lump in my throat; always hated that feeling ever since I was a kid.

I have grown. I have bettered myself. I have overcome a lot of my problems which had been left for years, and my
health has improved as a result. I am not useless, ugly, worthless, or unworthy of love, which is something I'd always carried with me for years and years including before XW and I met. I've got rid of that negativity finally.


What do I do? Do I contact XW and tell her I know it's finalised? Do I contact her parents - if so what would I say? Do I say anything to XW about how tragically sad this situation is?

I am so glad I found this board. I just wish I found it much, much earlier.