JOB is a very wise woman and giving you stellar advise. Steve85 is one of the few active posters that is still with his wife. He has first hand experience in getting his spouse to recommit. I am not sure why you are having such a hard time understanding and implementing positive changes to your behavior.
You are completely focused on the wrong person.
I do not want to give you false hope. I do not want to give you false despair. Accept that he is leaving. Let go of the past, you can't change that. Do not fear the future, you are not there yet. Focus on today and what you have control over. Only what you have control over. Do this every day.
Here is an exercise that you should start doing with everything:
1) Who gets the puppy? You or him? Do you want it? If yes, than you tell him you are keeping the puppy. If no, you tell him you don't want the puppy and either he takes care of it or you will find it a new home. Take your time if needed to decide what you want. Do not ask him what he wants. After you make your decision, then you inform him of your choice.
HUGS
PS: Some guys like a little belly on their ladies. Real men make their women feel beautiful because her belly is not what makes her attractive.
During this phase of the process, it is all about being confident that you will thrive without him. Believe me, You will thrive without him.
R2C - Thanks to all the support out there from everyone especially Job and Steve85
I know I have to move forward.
Its just it was just at the beginning of this month that he said to me... his needs weren't being met... I should have stopped in my tracks and hugged him and reassured him.
I was going to surprise him on my lunch break and completely focus on him. It was the end of his work week and it had been long so he was sitting on the floor having a drink. Not exactly typical. I wanted him and not the drunk him... I was I so proud???
I had to work the rest of the day late and the next morning but that night we had a date planned.
He was so exhausted and with a couple of drinks he fell asleep on the way home... I can't blame him as he is so sleep deprived. But another night with no physical contact.
So I was warned... He was stating loudly... What he was really saying is I feel unloved and unwanted. I know him.
The first woman who started to pay him attention and his heart is racing. He is starting to feel good about himself for the first time in a long time.
I know its about me. Its about standing up for me. I know I am not ready for D but I want S. I want him gone to figure things out for himself. There is nothing I can do but take care of me.
He just texted me that he was wrong about some info for legal S. He only talked to atty. He did not pick up any paperwork. He said its not something he thinks should be discussed while I am at work and said I can talk on my break. I have no break today... I won't see him at all today. So now this information which seems he is not happy with may mean I don't get what I want.
I'm tired of him acting like he has all the cards.
Last edited by job; 02/24/2010:22 PM. Reason: edited quote
