I can relate to the pain, the feeling of imminent death. I made my name on here "overtherainbow" because I thought it was truly over the rainbow where I'd find happiness again. It took some time, and more importantly work, to turn that around. You can too. Right now my gut is sinking thinking about how bad this stuff hurts you.
I will encourage to start walking out of the world of pain and into the world where you can be happy and decide how to live your life. I don't think there are any -isms or certain catchwords that will change things for you (and I'm very against most psychological cliches). I think you can turn this around, is that what you want?
I would encourage you to stop giving him reign over you. I think it'd be helpful to post here and get things off your chest. You will learn and grow from this and be even stronger for having endured it. Good luck.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
