I think about validation with my children too. I have to be careful that I am not only giving them validation and empathy when they are sharing negative things with me in case they start to think that's the only possible way of getting my attention. I try to pour on attention and engagement when they are sharing the good news and things that they feel positive about just as much.
I know I could do that more with my H. Be more attentive and interested in his happy moments (rare though they are!)/ He has actually said as much to me too - he says he doesn't see what I love or care about or what makes me happy any more, and while he's much much better at validating me than he ever was, I am sure he could say I was a Moaning Myrtle too. It's a very easy trap to fall into, especially when you have actual things to moan about...
The gratitude has helped. I try to thank him for two or three things every day and share two or three pieces of good news or happy things with him and the children every day. It's like pulling teeth with them sometimes though...!
