I’m sorry you had to sit through that conversation with your friend. I’m sure she meant well. She has genuine concerns for you and probably was just angry for you. It is difficult for our friends to support us in this situation, esp when from their perspective the easiest and the most reasonable thing may be to just leave the M. Don’t let this strain your friendship though. Maybe next time you can just politely suggest not talking about this at all.
I have a friend who is a L so I had to let her in on my sitch when I consulted her. And after that she would keep sending me these links on articles on marriage/children/relationship building .....it is actually kind of funny and sweet (I do not read any of it ever). It is hard for some people to not offer help when they think they can help you. Lol.
Originally Posted by wayfarer
But I for life of me can't figure out why it put me into that level of a panic last night. I don't know if it's because I've grown accustomed to our completely insane schedule and he crapped all over my expectations. Or if I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and I have no idea what that shoe is. I hate how on edge his good behavior makes me. But I'm starting to realize that most of it is because I constantly think that any good behavior is transactional behavior. That he's only doing something remotely human to either pay for something I didn't know happened or something he's about to do.
Expectations. You are ready for him when he’s being his usual self because that’s what you expect. When he shows good behavior it throws you off not only because 1) you weren’t expecting it, but also 2) the good behavior makes you expect that bad thing will follow.
You don’t need to know where that good behavior comes from, and you don’t need to know where it will lead you. Take it at face value. Keep moving forward.
