Limbo is not for everyone. Some adjust to it and can continue to live life to the fullest and others can't. For those that live in limbo, it could be that they want to be able to say at the end of the limbo period that they tried everything to save their relationship. For others, they aren't in any hurry to divorce because of financial reasons or they aren't in a rush to move on and meet someone else.
I may be wrong about your wife, but she's only 29 and she may have gotten caught up in all of the dreams of being married, the house and the white picket fence. Her fantasy about married life eventually snuffed itself out. She may have met this om and he paid a lot of attention to her, stroked her ego and that euphoric high of "being in love" struck again. BTW, some people just live for that "being in love" feeling. I do not think she was mature enough to handle being married, I don't think she had spread her wings enough to finally settle down. Like I said I could be wrong about my interpretation of her.
You, on the other hand, are a bit older and more mature. You were more than ready to settle down and live your life comfortably w/your spouse. There was a communication gap between the two of you. This happens sometimes when there is a wider gap in ages. My parents were 15 years apart and now that I am older, I can look back on their relationship and see that there were some issues because of the ages and the mindset of both of them. Again, I am not making excuses for her just walking away.
I do not think that your wife will be too quick on locating a lawyer and getting the ball rolling. She may think that you will be right where she left you once she's done "spreading her wings and flying around the universe" or as some would say "taking a time out of the marriage". In my opinion, she truly needs to grow up. Unfortunately, she's going to discover that you are serious about moving on and I truly hope that she realizes what she's lost because of what she's done and continues to do.
I am very, very sorry your situation has come down to you pushing for a divorce. As I stated at the beginning of this posting, you have to do what is right for you. We are not walking in your shoes, however, we do understand the frustration and pain you have been going through.
If, at some point, she wants to try to reconcile and you decide to try again, she will need to do a lot of work to earn your trust and your heart once again. It will require a lot of patience on your part, but if and when that time comes, as you stated, you will always have your threads to re-read to help you stay the course. Then again, it may be too late and you will have met someone else and that will be her loss to deal with, not yours.
Last edited by job; 02/21/2010:18 PM.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
