This was where I was for a long, long time... He didn't even tell me ILYB until more than a year into it (though was acting like a giant a-hole), four months after ILYB confessed to an EA and said he wasn't talking to her anymore... and I would have sworn there was NO WAY there was a PA because we both *knew* that I'd immediately kick him out (ah, principles ) and I figured he wanted out so badly he would just tell me if it were true. Anyway, as you probably know it turns out he'd been in a PA for 2 years and didn't find out until about six weeks ago. This board was really helpful for me in seeing the possibility of all of this. I'd just be open to the possibility if I were you so you aren't blindsided if it happens to be true.
Good point, May. Can never say never and he's not his usual self right now or the person I married really so I can't be sure he isn't having a PA. The mutual friends I've confided in have also asked me if I thought he was having an A since his behavior is indicative of one, and they've known him longer than I have. In some ways, since he's told me he doesn't love me anymore romantically and wants to S, it's almost like I feel like it can't get any worse and my feelings can't be hurt any more.
Originally Posted by may22
Finally, on the furniture-- how badly do you need/want it? My suggestion would be if you really, really want it, then do it... but otherwise passing on the furniture now to relieve pressure on your H to move to the basement is probably not all that big of a loss. I mean, do you want your H to move to the basement? If you do then accepting the furniture seems like a good move, but if you don't I wouldn't take it. Or could you put the furniture in the basement if you absolutely need to take it?
I suppose it's safe to elaborate...it's a piano that we both want for our D to play as she gets older. So it's something we'd have to pay to move and it would stay in it's designated spot in the house once moved in and can only go in certain places. He's expressed he wants us to have it but keeps telling me it's ultimately my decision since he's telling me the house is mine now. Eye roll.
) and I figured he wanted out so badly he would just tell me if it were true. Anyway, as you probably know it turns out he'd been in a PA for 2 years and didn't find out until about six weeks ago. This board was really helpful for me in seeing the possibility of all of this. I'd just be open to the possibility if I were you so you aren't blindsided if it happens to be true.
