Steve, I really appreciate how open and honest you are about how difficult piecing is. I wish everyone that is DB'ing would take the time to read all your threads so they can have realistic expectations if they ever get a chance to recon. Once you've been BD'd there's just no easy path back whether you recon or not.
Originally Posted by Steve85
I keep going back to when I started to get really get good at DBing and started getting excited about the prospect of a new life, and the worlds and opportunities that would have opened up to me.
Well from the perspective of someone who GAL'd like a crazy person and did not recon, I've made the most of it and yes, I have had a LOT of fun post-D. It's been really great, I'm not going to lie, LOL! At first I kept saying that given a choice to go back that I would still choose marriage (if I had the choice, which I didn't). But now? I don't think that anymore. I'm not "glad" it happened, it was a horrible thing to go through. But I would not rewind the clock and save my M if given the choice now. My life is what it is, and I accept and even embrace it. It's not perfect, but it's mine. My M was a beautiful chapter in my life. Now I'm living in a different chapter.
Now contrast that with my brother who has been divorced a good 10 years, never dated again, carries almost 100k in CC debt and is just miserable and blames it all on his long-gone XW.
So what is my point, it's that whether you recon or not isn't the issue, the issue is what you do with your life. And that is strictly up to you. You can recon and make that the best, most beautiful outcome possible. Or you can live with constant regret. I think you lean more towards the former than the latter, but certainly I have seen people do the opposite and make themselves miserable. Same goes for if you don't recon, you can make that wonderful or miserable. It's all about your own personal grit and determination.
Move forward with no regrets and with full commitment to make it the best life possible for yourself and for others. That's the true meaning of agape love.
