My commute to DC was 1 hour and 30 minutes when the sun was shining and no accidents. If it was raining or snowing, the commute was almost double that one way. If he's driving that entire commute himself, yes, it can be stressful. If he's not driving it and has someone else doing the driving, he could catch naps on the way in and out. I, too, wouldn't trade my home and property to live closer.
If he's been doing the commute the entire marriage, why didn't a move take place earlier in the marriage? You don't have to answer my question unless you want to.
I still get the impression that you are making all kinds of excuses for his behavior when you need to be focusing and working on you. It's almost like you are trying to justify his wanting to leave. KC, you deserve better than all of this gaslighting he's doing. As for the "home" magazines sitting around, he's trying to get into your head and create more anxiety for you.
KC, we are trying to help you get to a better place, but you also need to help yourself a bit here. This isn't the first time around for you w/this man wanting to move and leave the marriage. Don't help him leave or figure out his finances. Worry about you and what you are going to do if he leaves. He's a grown man and the sooner he learns that the grass isn't greener over on the other side the better. He's the problem, not you.
KC, straighten that spine, hold your head up high and tell yourself every time he acting like a putz, that you are a good person and deserve better and you definitely deserve respect in all aspects of your life. Don't allow him to speak to you the way he does when he's angry, walk away from him, go to another room or just take a drive. You are not his punching bag. In order to get respect, you've got to respect yourself and set those boundaries.
S18 was in good strong school system. He has had challenges and a school change would have been hard.
My H understood that...
The deal 2yr ago was to move closer when S18 graduated. He just got the feeling that was never going to happen given the work done, my tone in talking about what to do. Pile into that the rejection that had building up and some jealousy on my part for the NYE... AND, he had such a fun time he just wants that more.
He is over the drive.
He is over me.
I've been getting great advice. I've gone over so much minutia. But he has been gone all day again. I know he was looking at houses today. Its 3pm and he is not home. He gets up at 7pm and leaves for work at 8pm.
He didnt pack a bag so he wasnt intentionally not coming home. .. but here we are again.
He doesnt hate me. He does care about me and doesnt want me to lose the house. But he is nice to me and I think maybe, maybe he will change his mind. Im somewhere and he wants to know where, but he is only calling to talk about timeshare stuff. But he clearly wants to move on.
He has said he wants to move on... he is taking steps to do so... maybe not as quickly as some.
I've got to stop thinking kindness is wanting a way back in. Asking me where I am at is just knee jerk reaction because he isn't asking today and he certainly isn't letting me know he is okay.
