To double down on what AS said. You really should flip this script and decide you DON'T want him back right now. More than let him go, jettison him. Become overly helpful and supportive in his house search etc. As I said, right now he is broken, and that is not your fault, nor is it your responsibility to fix.
Further, on the "see how things play out later", make sure you have a good picture for what that looks like. In other words, make him earn his way back. If you don't give him conditions for return (IC, MC, etc) then if he does come back easily you are likely setting yourself up for another future BD.
To triple down on what Steve said.
While he is gone, you should work up your list of non-negotiable. When he comes beggin you to take him back, you should be very leary and one of your first conditions BEFORE AGREEING is having him come up with his own list. If it doesn't match yours, tell him "It will take more than that." and have him work on the list some more.
Your sitch is little different in the fact that this is his second marriage. No need to answer these questions, but who initiated his first D, why, did he take any accountability in his role, did he learn anything?
He had been unhappy for years. Had PA and EA. Had kids and couldn't imagine being a part time dad. I believe it was his XW that found an apt for him to move too and she kept tight control on his time with kids. His complaints were that she was a stay at home mom who slept 18hr a day. He was the sole provider working alot to come home to find his toddler playing in the street and his mom in bed. She couldn't keep a clean house... still cant and spent the 10yr I knew him/her continued to play games filing restraining orders, keep him from his kids for months at a time.
I know he did some counseling on his own and with the kids several years ago.
I was always told how much better I was and how much better our life was.
He moved and we met r
You do realize that the truth is probably different than this, right? There are three sides to every story: Yours, Mine and The Truth.
Yes... I only know his side, after 10yr of dealing with his XW... what he has said is mostly consistent with what I've seen. But i will never know it all.
