I'm working on setting up social get togethers with more friends, just not always easy to do when they want to bring their husbands and I don't! I have confided in a few close friends what's going on with my H, but I feel uncomfortable when couple friends suggest doing something all together becuase from the outside, things look normal and we appear to be a happily married couple with a beautiful little baby!
I do hate leaving the baby to go out but if I can time it for after her beditme so H is just sitting at home alone with her asleep, even better!
I wouldn't worry about not bringing your H along-- just go ahead, make the plans, and make an excuse about his absence (working/sick/whatever). I've often found in those situations it ends up getting grouped into the dads in one convo and the moms in another, so it won't really matter all that much that he isn't there. And/or, go ahead and suggest a moms-only night! I guarantee you all the moms will go for it... especially if it is after the babies are in bed!!
Originally Posted by Rosy10
I do think he's had/having an EA even if he doesn't consider it to be an A. I do not think he's having a PA. He has just been so forthcoming with his reasons to leave me and telling me ILYB/I don't love you that way anymore that I think he would have mentioned a PA as another reason to separate. I could be wrong though!
This was where I was for a long, long time... He didn't even tell me ILYB until more than a year into it (though was acting like a giant a-hole), four months after ILYB confessed to an EA and said he wasn't talking to her anymore... and I would have sworn there was NO WAY there was a PA because we both *knew* that I'd immediately kick him out (ah, principles ) and I figured he wanted out so badly he would just tell me if it were true. Anyway, as you probably know it turns out he'd been in a PA for 2 years and didn't find out until about six weeks ago. This board was really helpful for me in seeing the possibility of all of this. I'd just be open to the possibility if I were you so you aren't blindsided if it happens to be true.
Finally, on the furniture-- how badly do you need/want it? My suggestion would be if you really, really want it, then do it... but otherwise passing on the furniture now to relieve pressure on your H to move to the basement is probably not all that big of a loss. I mean, do you want your H to move to the basement? If you do then accepting the furniture seems like a good move, but if you don't I wouldn't take it. Or could you put the furniture in the basement if you absolutely need to take it?
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
) and I figured he wanted out so badly he would just tell me if it were true. Anyway, as you probably know it turns out he'd been in a PA for 2 years and didn't find out until about six weeks ago. This board was really helpful for me in seeing the possibility of all of this. I'd just be open to the possibility if I were you so you aren't blindsided if it happens to be true.
