I am very sorry to read what has transpired in your situation. However, after all of this time, maybe, just maybe, there is light at the end of the tunnel and a settlement will be put into place.
It puzzles me that your new lawyer wasn't speaking up for you, but it could be that in the courtroom, the judge only views the particulars of a separation/divorce/settlement and they really do not focus on the welfare of the children. The welfare of the children may be held in another session where all of the concerns of both parents are viewed and a decision made. Judges and lawyers focus on what needs to be done when a family splits up and that is the divorce and settlement. It's a very sad way to look at things, but I now in my area, that is how things are looked at.
Hopefully, today will be a better day for you. Try to carve out a bit of "me" time and relax just a bit.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
