Please know if I had more confidence in my body.. I would have never pulled away... he would have never been stabbed in the heart... he wouldn't have gone to bed angry...
He wouldn't have felt his self worth come into question... the comments about my weight may have stung but I probably said it bothered me and then he would say then do something about it. He would see me doing nothing and he still isn't getting affection... his angry brews with each time I reject him... it snowballs.
It's not that i have to be thin... it's my lack of affection and his feeling rejected. It's a terrible cycle and you become critical of everything else.
My H is the hardest working man I know.
We can all behave like 2yr old at times.
I'm not excusing his behavior on leaving the M. We are both responsible for where we are and we both have wounds.
I'm trying my best to do what is needed so that he may have a change of heart about us. His wound is painful... he chose to go numb than to deal with it. His wall is high. Its probably an impossible task.
I will keep behavior as if every moment around him... but for me to believe that I dont want him when I do is a tough thing to accomplish.
