Still struggling with the new furniture decision. If we take the new furniture (keeping this vague for discretion), it will cause him to move his sleeping area to the basement and/or buy a bed to sleep on in the basement. I'm not sure if I should just decline the new hand me down furniture at the time to avoid this issue (though it would be nice to have it in the long term and he has expressed it will be nice to have as well). He keeps putting the decision on me... "Whatever you want in there." One of his BD complaints was that I made too many decisions about the house he wasn't okay with (though he would consent at the time) For example, we needed to have our deck repaired because it was overdue and a safety issue. I have a family member who does that sort of work so brought him over for an estimate. My H said he couldn't afford to pay for it (we've always kept separate bank accounts and just split the bills) so I would have to pay for it myself if I wanted to move forward with the repair and so I did. A few months later, he claims I disregarded his opinion on this repair. (Side note, H has a lot of school debt and financial insecurity/anxiety and I make a good amount more $ than he does) He also has gotten into a few bad situations by neglecting car repairs, payments, etc, so I'm generally the person in the M who takes the lead on bills and house repairs. I've always felt like one of us needed to step up, so I've just done it myself.
So with him constantly telling me any decision about the house is for me to make is almost like he's pulling the 180/giving up on having an opinion since he's giving up on our M??? Any thoughts on this?
