Today is such a hard day

[oceangrl]

he wants me to think of a plan/research child time-sharing etc. Should I avoid this?

I hit on this earlier. Do your research, but do not share what you find with H any time in the immediate future.

Ultimately, what is good for the kids, is equal and frequent contact with both parents.

Agreed. The tricky part is how much he travels. I am trying to explain my sitch without providing too many personal details, but basically he travels every other week for work. So he wants the week he comes home for me to leave. And go...somewhere. So his life doesn't change at all except for me to disappear from it. He has his out of state routine and place, and then he will slide back in home. First of all, I would prefer not to share the same space as him, and second, his plan sounds traumatic for me. I am still angry I have to give up my kids at all due to his wayward ways. But I have dealt with so much pain the last few years I have no desire to drag it out in ugliness. None. But I do have to advocate for my future. He got mad that I didn't think his plan was perfect. and treated me like I was the mean ex wife who wants to take him to the cleaners. Which is ridiculous.He just doesn't feel he can afford a second space for himself. Well then how are you going to afford divorce.

I seriously can barely handle the thought of these awful decisions. Breaking up a family is horrible.