Today—still having trouble re-entering the more confident, detached zone I was in. 8 months in and I feel like I’m regressing DB-wise, just can’t get my attitude back in the right place. H has been gone most nights this week for the first time in a while, and I think my anxiety is surfacing so much because I’m sent back to how things were for so long before the new year, all the coldness and uncharacteristic behavior from him. He said little to me this morning, and maybe the thaw of the last six weeks is coming to an end or maybe I’m just fearing that. I don’t like seeing how I’m affected by his moods again—his recent prolonged friendliness has definitely messed with me.
Hi Cardinal. Just wanted to stop by to say how much I can relate to all of what you are feeling and have posted. As DnJ said it does feel like I am broken again, exposed, vulnerable and mostly hurt. Do you feel that too? And like you, it sometimes feels like it is still attached to Hs’ behaviour or mood. For me sometimes it still comes out of nowhere ....despite GAL I’m finding that there are some areas of over-processing that I am not allowing myself to let go of. One big one I keep replaying is how can this caring caring man be doing this???? I know he’s lost but it’s hard when you see him most days and he appears completely fine. Right?
Originally Posted by cardinal
It’s days like this when I see how it could be both easier and harder if he had moved out.
I often wonder about this too....I don’t know which would be worse for me.
You’ve got people in your corner caring about you...be good to yourself.
