Wow. He has got to slow his roll. I'm glad you are dealing with this all so calmly but he is all over the place. It isn't like if he misses out on this apartment he will never again be able to make the decision to leave... but once you tell the kids and move out, you are crossing a certain line that is hard to uncross. But anyway, none of that is about you, I am just feeling kind of like badly and watching a slow-motion car crash with him right now. Honestly, he sounds a lot like my H over the last couple of months.
I think you're doing absolutely the right thing. Stay strong!
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing