OS, I would give her WAY more space than a few days. Tell her you don't want to see her/ talk to her for a month. Tell her you need to think about things. Because you do. You're not thinking clearly right now, you're lost in a fog of false hope.
That's an interesting idea. I want her to come back when she wants to come back because she really wants me/us and is willing to work not because she's run out of options. As has been said above I'll know it when that's the case. We tend to have conversation daily over message and see each other a few times a week. She was staying over for a few nights at a time but that didn't really work and felt disjointed. We also spent a lot of time talking because we haven't got to MC stage and so weren't spending enough time having fun. If I opted for your suggestion would I say something like "I've been thinking, I'm not sure either of us are ready to give the M what it needs, and think we should have a month apart to think things over"?
What do I really know for sure? I know there was an A with PA and EA. I know she was planning on covering it up and returning in January after giving me the 'wakeup call' of her walking out 1.5 months earlier. She was planning on continuing the EA "as friends". Everything else is guesswork. It could be that ever since I found out she's thought the whole situation is messed up, has been feeling awful about it and that I'll forever hold it against her, particularly as I wasn't particularly happy last year and she rebelled. It could be that there is lasting EA/PA or even someone new.
