So understandable Grace. I read once to think of it as him sitting on a park bench and figuring himself out. For a while, while I was messed up in the head, that worked. Only guess what, he's effing some other woman, acting like her sugar daddy, and pretending to be a family with her and her kids (who already have a dad in their lives, while mine have none). Of course it is nicer to think it is beyond their control and something they can't change. But they can. They make choices.
Mine gets up and goes to work and keeps getting raises. He must be able to do something. After taking (and then backing out of) a job three hours away, he had an elderly family member buy a house in OW2's front yard and moved her into it. Certainly looks like he has made a permanent decision to set up a life there. So why won't he divorce me? I don't see any further evidence of fog. I see a guy getting in touch with his feelings and finding a little empathy for his son (probably the only amount he ever had). Not any for me, even to set me free. It just doesn't matter, does it? And very likely it has nothing to do with me whatsoever. I see your guy as very similar to mine. Yours just utters sweet nothings while he goes about it.
Yours responded about the bank the way he did because of that ticky tacky sense of being caught. Nothing to do with MLC. Just good old fashioned guilt. He is telling you sweet things to keep you holding on while he walks more firmly in the other direction. Is that the end of the world? That is for you to decide. But it is not honest, it is not finding his way back to you, and it is absolutely intentional. Even if a third party put him up to it, what does it say that he would rather cause you pain than her?
Nothing has to be decided forever, just keep taking care of yourself today. Keep your eyes open (and your heart too if you want), but do it with intention, as he is.
