22 Years Gone Part 3

[rooskers]

I'm sure she's not in IC either, but man she sure could use it. Do your and D's ICs tell you to accept her and welcome her, or are they saying to accept that she is a toxic person and move to cut her out of your lives?

She tells D14 she is in therapy and working through the abuse she has been put through by everyone in her life. Parents, college friends, high school friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, ex-husband and everyone else connected to her past. IC can only help if you are being honest on what the problems are. I was told that her previous therapist will not work with her anymore after she lied to him repeatedly and put him in a position that put his license at risk.

My therapist is working on me accepting that XW has some deep issues that she needs to work on alone and with a professional. I need to accept that the divorce was the right decision given the circumstances and the most loving thing I can do for myself, my daughter and my XW is to cut XW out of my life as much as possible and give XW the space to work on healing if she so chooses. I am also continuing to be a pillar of strength and consistency in D14's life.

D14 has to accept the fact that she will have to have her mom in her life until she is 18 and then can make her own decisions on whether she would be better cutting all ties or not. Her IC is working on D14 accepting that her mom has issues that have nothing to do with her. She is working on D14 learning how to set up strong boundaries, being assertive but respectful in her communication and finally to learning to live with someone who may have a serious mental disorder. D14's mom requested the therapy notes from D14's counseling sessions which the therapist was legally obligated to provide her. I can't tell you what was in the notes but rest assured her mom has read them all and has been using D14's pain, fears, and hurt as a weapon against D14 during visitations. In response D14's therapist and lawyer have told D14 her rights in this state allow D14 to consent to her own mental health which will enable her to fill out her own paperwork as if she were an emancipated minor. D14 felt she needed this because her mom told her she was going to seek legal action to prevent D14 from seeing her current therapist and also so D14 can keep her therapy sessions private.