Unless you are in a "fault" jurisdiction infidelity doesn't matter for the legal case
I'm in a true fault state. The alienation of affection law is in place but my L hasn't mentioned it....yet. So far she thinks my key witnesses, elected officials, will make him and his L back down.
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Reading back you appear to be roughly my age or even a hair older with a long term marriage. Nobody expects this.
I'm 53 and have been with him for 30 years. He was depressed but blamed it on work. BD he took it all back and said it was me. Said he dreaded coming home and that he had to drink to tolerate me. We were still cuddling on the couch and so yes I was blindsided. He's now living on meat and booze. Atkins? He is thin. I hate this part. He still looks good and I'm just old.
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The trust fund is undoubtedly a tricky issue. If the funds have been co-mingled and it sounds like the dividends have been, that makes it marital income / asset. Not knowing the structure of the trust fund makes it hard to suggest, but from my higher earner side of the fence, a deal where I could make a lump sum payment (I didn't get that) was my preference. Could part of the trust fund just be signed over instead of alimony? That also prevents him from dissipating it and then pleading poverty. We read here all the time about court orders being made and then the spouse not following through or whinging and complaining about every nickel.
My L says judges in the past have ruled dividends as marital money. I've read the trust cover to cover and it is protected from divorce. Had he not commingled the dividends those would have been protected as well.
My H doesn't even know I'm divorcing him yet so I'm super early in this process. He'd like me to take a lump sum but the amount he originally offered was a joke of epic proportions. If my math is right he'd have to pay me half his trust fund to make this work and he's not going to do that. I'm entitled to his pension which would offset this meaning he'd owe me less of the trust fund but it's not subject to erisa which means he could stiff me there too. I can't support myself on what I make so there is that.
