First court date February 24th

[AndrewP]

Unless you are in a "fault" jurisdiction infidelity doesn't matter for the legal case. Yes, it can influence the amount of sympathy you get but has no bearing so hiring a PI would just be a waste of money. Most judges undoubtedly don't have any patience for mud-slinging or drama. They want the facts, make a decision based on precedent, bang the gavel and go off to their golf game.

Stating that it has caused you mental distress and that you were blind-sided and unprepared to be suddenly single does have merit though. Reading back you appear to be roughly my age or even a hair older with a long term marriage. Nobody expects this.

If you are in a fault jurisdiction, you may want to check to see if the "alienation of affection" laws are in place. They allow you to sue OW. Not something that is perhaps worth it in most cases, but a quiver in your arsenal of "don't mess with me or I'll stop being nice".

The trust fund is undoubtedly a tricky issue. If the funds have been co-mingled and it sounds like the dividends have been, that makes it marital income / asset. Not knowing the structure of the trust fund makes it hard to suggest, but from my higher earner side of the fence, a deal where I could make a lump sum payment (I didn't get that) was my preference. Could part of the trust fund just be signed over instead of alimony? That also prevents him from dissipating it and then pleading poverty. We read here all the time about court orders being made and then the spouse not following through or whinging and complaining about every nickel.

Good luck!