22 Years Gone Part 3

[rooskers]

D14 is cautiously optimistic about the new roommate. She went to her room and played video games with her and they talked about the music they liked. XW apparently just stayed downstairs and didn't engage either of them. I think this may be a little help sent from heaven so D14 has a person to talk to when she is over for visitation. That is the good news.

The bad news is XW told D14 that she is going to be moving in with a friend in a couple months. This friend of XW's has a husband and two children. They have a four bedroom house and XW will be staying in the 4th bedroom and when D14 comes over for visitation D14 will sleep in the bedroom and her mom will sleep somewhere else in the house on a futon. D14 is not very happy about this situation because she doesn't want to go live at some strange families house.

D14 did get angry during visitation and talked to her mom about a lot of things but one of them that stood out was when she said "I can't believe you told dad you have been faking your love for him since your last affair 10 years ago." Hearing this D14 said she smirked at her and said "oh, I have been faking it a lot longer than that." Towards the end of their argument she told D14 "I know what is best for you and you are a spoiled little brat." Once again XW dropped off D14 early and once again I got an email blaming me for it.

I continue to work on myself in IC. Both D14's therapist and my own therapist are working on getting us to except XW for who she is. We don't need to agree with her actions, values, morals, beliefs, but accept that this is the person she is and we can't change that. We both need to let go of the idea of who we wanted her to be.

Today D14 is getting a Rotary Youth Leadership award for her leadership and hard work at school and in the community. She will have to give a speech and it will be at a fancy hotel with lots of guests so she is kind of nervous. I know she will do great. Her mom has chosen not to attend the event. It will be alright because I will be there to support her, show her how proud I am, and most importantly that she is loved.