What you said gives me another perspective, and I can see how this is freeing. I tIhink in my mind I am giving passes, allowing H's excuses for bad decisions and treatment of me, our family, and our vows to sort of give him a pass. But, no matter my feelings clouding things, they are not getting in the way of my actions. Yesterday I sent the list to my attorney of what I want in a post-nup. It was extensive, and mostly what we agreed to for a divorce. I asked if she can have a draft in a week or no longer than 2. I am protecting myself, and in some ways when the document is done, it will be freeing I believe.
Yesterday I asked H about a change of address I got in the mail for S22's bank account. It was set up before he went to college and H's name is attached to it. The address was changed to his condo. He also changed another account, so I guess all the ones with his name on it was changed automatically (maybe). I asked him about it. He lashed out (via text) and suggested I was accusing him of something. I asked what on earth I could be accusing him of? It was just a question about it. He said he was sorry, that he was under a lot of stress (he now has a health issue he is dealing with) I said I was worry he was stressed, but that he shouldn't take it out on me, that I don't deserve it. And that it was BS that he did. He apologized again. But, I won't tolerate any of his nonsense. I am definately much stronger in this department than I ever was.
I briefly thought if he was serious about extricating himself from his current living situation, it was odd he changed a bank address to it. I almost called him out on it, but let it go. Useless to bring it up. I will take my appropriate actions for me. He will take action or won't.
I am looking forward to presenting H with the post-nup for review.
