First court date February 24th

[Dawn70]

Hang in there! You have gotten some great advice and I don't even know that I can add to it, other than to focus on yourself and your kids. It is so hard, especially when you are the not the one who wants the D. I read a few of your newcomer posts after you moved here just to catch up a bit and I really empathize with you and your situation. I wasn't married as long as you, but my XH just up and decided he was done then I found out after the fact there was OW. I didn't want a D at first either, but I quickly found this site and learned valuable things like letting go of the rope and not chasing/begging etc. It absolutely saved me. Someone asked you on a post in newcomers why you were posting if you didn't want to save your marriage (I'm paraphrasing here, of course, because that is not exactly how it was worded), but STAND STRONG, kas. When I came here, I wasn't necessarily looking to save my M either, though I wasn't opposed to it in the initial stages, but XH walked and dropped the rope so quickly that I needed some guidance and some support and I found it here. The posters here are amazing, but you have to remember we are all different people in different phases of what we are going through and we all handle things and react to things differently, so what works for one may or may not work for another. I dragged my feet a bit, not even necessarily waiting for reconciliation, and the one thing I wish I had done differently is I wish I had gone and filed as soon as my XH said he was done.

I don't know if you are interested, if it is something you have thought about, or even something you are willing to entertain, but I started counseling pretty soon after bomb drop and it was the best thing I could've done for myself. Unless you are just vehemently opposed to it, for whatever your reasons are which you totally don't have to share here, at least consider it. It might be something that really helps you put things in perspective.