- our MR deteriorated when we moved 3 years ago and even some beforehand
- my W was unhappy and depressed once we moved
- I was also unhappy and felt emotionally shut out
- we both contributed to the gradual erosion. I accept my part and regret a lot. Mostly I’m trying to take those experiences and work towards a healthier approach to life - self differentiation, getting out of “people pleasing” mode, focusing on connecting with my kids more.
- once I grabbed my son’s leg in the car a couple years ago, my W had the “reason” she was unhappy all along. It was me. I think she was looking for a reason (maybe subconsciously).
I’d like to say I tried every reasonable way possible for a 50-50 arrangement. For the sake of my kids. But it doesn’t seem possible with my W’s mindset. So I am coming to peace with that conclusion. I could keep trying to mediate on and on but at what cost?
I’m on a mini 2 day winter break vacation with the kids. Booked it at the last minute, packed up the car, and away we went. Showing them new places, playing outdoors. Just an awesome 2 days. I feel calm and I think I’m finding some sort of closure that I’ve done what I can. Of course I could keep sticking it out but the “pro”s list for that one is short.
