Seperated but holding on for reconciliation

[Ready2Change]

During the conversation with my wife, she said that her father can't judge the situation because she hasn't told him all the facts why she left me, which were that I put my job before her, that I abandoned her in doing so, that I put money before her, that I put possessions before her, that I stopped her from having friends over, etc.

I didn't know what to say to this so didn't say anything. My mind was saying "I must validate her feelings and not argue" but I couldn't think of anything to say that didn't sound patronizing or twee or glib.

I am very disheartened by her words because.......

You need to BE HAPPY she told you these things. Most of us here were not so lucky. Thank you for sharing her words. They help us understand better.


So what is your learning experience from this?

Is it to forget about explaining the past and simply to continue demonstrating change now?

YUP. Nail down the validation. AnotherStander is your role model.

PS: I did not validate your feelings, I am pointing out my belief about how you should change. Validating your W will make her feel understood and that alone will help her feel more connected to you which in turn will make the relationship better.