During the conversation with my wife, she said that her father can't judge the situation because she hasn't told him all the facts why she left me, which were that I put my job before her, that I abandoned her in doing so, that I put money before her, that I put possessions before her, that I stopped her from having friends over, etc.
I didn't know what to say to this so didn't say anything. My mind was saying "I must validate her feelings and not argue" but I couldn't think of anything to say that didn't sound patronizing or twee or glib.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
That's better than putting your foot in your mouth.
I like simple validation:
I get that. I can see that. Or if you can try relate say "Yea he really doesn't know everything that went on does he?"
In reality, only the 2 people in a R know everything that happened. But kinda not since we can't remember everything anyways.
You need to read DB basics and hammer them home. When she states her feelings, her reality, her perspective of the situation you validate it. For now, you keep your own thoughts and feelings to yourself.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
