I had to tell myself what I am going to tell you. You have basically trained him to dump things on you. Like the puppy and you will accept it hoping he will drop a crumb of love on you. Are you worth more than crumbs of love? Yes, you made mistakes. So did he. Figure out who you want to be and work on yourself. Fix your mistakes for you. If you do it for him and the R works out, the changes won't stick. You can't change out of fear. It has to be for you. If not this R, than the next.
As for you, I want you to visualize who you are at your best self. How do you look? How do you walk? Does your face look relaxed and happy? What does your laugh sound like? Now, find that woman. Fake it until you make it. This is your single best mission. It will affect your R, but more importantly you! Connect with yourself.
Stop pain shopping. Don't look at his FB. You can change your settings so that you do not see what he posts. Ask yourself if what you are going to do will bring you closer to detachment and happiness or farther. Make new habits.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
