I am all for you laying it out on the field so when this is over you can say you did everything in your power to keep your family together. Having said that, just know that your W knows you better then anyone on the planet and will likely see this as more manipulation and selfishness on your part.
I suggest you read up more on alpha males. There is a tendency to misconstrue the characteristics.
Lastly this amazing vulnerable perfect man your wife is dreaming about. It’s 100 times more likely you become that man then her finding it out there. It’s just going to take her some time to figure it out.
