If you’re not completely sure that you want a divorce then don’t push it forward.
Originally Posted by Grace21
I have been doing a lot of thinking about why I am postponing what I believe (at least at the moment), the inevitable.
Love that you see that you can alter a belief.
The feelings/belief in the inevitability of divorce due to doubts about H, and doubts about yourself - it can be changed. Reason and influence.
Your faith in H, or lack of, is not a reason to divorce. Do not base decisions on feelings or something someone might or might not do.
The doubts of ever trusting H again. Of course there are doubts. However, the future is unknown. Look at how far H as actually come from 1 year 4 1/2 months ago. I know it’s not as far as you want. Still, there has been progress, no doubt. Trust can be rebuilt.
I get it, H has conversed, shared some deep things. Is in a terrible relationship, is afraid of OW, and it is all getting ready to implode. Expectations, set them at zero.
Do you need a divorce? Protection? Security? You’ve told me before nothing would really change in your life with that piece of paper. Is it more attempting to force H along his path?
If you want to alter your belief in the inevitable, find reasons, Grace’s reasons. Focus on you, not H. Get back to living your life. Leave H to his path and his work.
Desires without a timeline attached = hope. Desires with a timeline = expectations. Unmet expectations = resentment.
Are you feeling a bit hopeless as of late? Expectations will do that. Will kill hope.
I think your expectations are rising. Place them back in the realm of hopes.
Life is good.
You’ve got time.
You’ve got hope.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
