1st Anniversary of Limbo, Indecisive WAH (part 2)

[Pommy99]

I think a lot of us are in the space where the WS thinks this old life is the cause of their misery and only a new life can fix it. While they do nothing to change literally anything else about themselves or other aspects of their lives.

I realised this today. He has a chronic sports injury; he has spent a huge amount of time seeing specialists (consultants, surgeons, physiotherapists: sports injury therapists), researching on the internet, trying different remediation and recovery techniques, understanding the injury, the causes,how to prevent it, etc. He had a recurring issue with his beloved car...again, countless phone calls, internet searches, learning, understanding, finding a solution, yadda yadda. He has a problem in his marriage ....<<<deathly silence>>>... there is nothing that can fix it except burying head in sand and walking away. And maybe he’s right, maybe nothing can fix his marriage, just like nothing may fix his sports injury...but the contrast in the approach is remarkable. To me it’s like saying I have an injury, the only thing I can do is amputate my limb.

I think you're right this is the time where you drop the rope and plan that life with out him. You gotta let him just him go if he wants to go no matter how much it hurts. And lord do I know it hurts. They behave like caged animals if they feel like they are tethered to this old life, and in the long run that's going to hurt you more. But remember that GALing and detaching is for you. Keeping you safe, sane, and positive moving through this mess. You got this. You've been dealing with this for a year. You have the strength of a goddess. You will pick yourself up and dust yourself off and persevere.

I’ve moved him into the spare room. He sulked. He then talked about wishing he could erase some of the past and make it good again. He hung around the MBR and asked if I was going to show him the new shoes arrived today. I said no, not tonight,

I feel stronger already. And I LOVE that you called me a goddess because after a year of this I feel like a failure, an undesirable, needy middle-aged woman, not good enough for my H, who wants s.o. else to do my job. Maybe I am a goddess: he’s been demoted by me to the spare room, and I have goddess shoes too :-))