Heck, what was I worried about saying not sure if I can do this! H has just told me straight up that he knows deep in his heart that he wants to S/D, that he doesn’t want to wake up every day feeling unhappy and guilty, that the only reason he is still here is because of me and the children, that he’s tried everything to invoke positive feelings (let’s get a dog/buy an investment property/go on holiday) but he keeps going back to feeling deeply unhappy and it’s the R that’s killing him. He is going to look at rentals tomorrow, something he booked earlier today before I got home.
I’ve crumbled in front of him and sobbed my heart out.
I guess my only move is to GAL, detach and plan life without him.
Oh Pommy, I'm sorry he's dragging you down with him for this ride. And if I could hug you I would. I think a lot of us are in the space where the WS thinks this old life is the cause of their misery and only a new life can fix it. While they do nothing to change literally anything else about themselves or other aspects of their lives. I think you're right this is the time where you drop the rope and plan that life with out him. You gotta let him just him go if he wants to go no matter how much it hurts. And lord do I know it hurts. They behave like caged animals if they feel like they are tethered to this old life, and in the long run that's going to hurt you more. But remember that GALing and detaching is for you. Keeping you safe, sane, and positive moving through this mess. You got this. You've been dealing with this for a year. You have the strength of a goddess. You will pick yourself up and dust yourself off and persevere.
