You never know what the AP and H are talking about either. I have had this convo what feels like 100 times with WW. Her AP felt that staying with me would be the easiest choice because we have a comfortable life together and I'm more financially stable. At one point, it almost felt like WW was choosing the more difficult journey just to prove she could do it (ego?). She has never needed me or the financial stability but for whatever reason the "path" controversy in her head made her feel as though she needed to prove it. H may have seemed contentious because of the same reasons (or variations of the same). All you can do while he's going back and forth thinking all of it through is work on your own sanity and peace of mind. Listen, don't grasp onto anything he says, and work on becoming the best WF for WF.
You're in for a long ride with H figuring out what he wants out of life, but either outcome, you've got this!
KG
You're right, I have no idea what they are talking about unless he let's me in. Or he does some stupid stuff around the girls and they immediately spill the beans. But he said OW was the more difficult route because they were both with other people. Totally not DBing and not validating at all I just laughed and said are you serious right now? You picked her BECAUSE she was with someone else. It gave both of you geniuses an easy out at any time. Then when you two decided to just keep going down the rabbit hole together you decided to wholly reject me and our marriage only after she dumped her BF. She made the decision for you.Please tell me how that was the harder route? He stared at me for a bit and pushed me on why I thought him being with me was the harder route for him to move on. The worst part of all these R talks on top of each other is it makes it so painfully obvious to me how well I know him and how I don't know if he ever really knew me at all.
He is on this I have to move out and she's probably moving in in June thing not because of pride or ego necessarily. It's out of stubbornness or maybe even ignorance. I don't know. He's the type that when he makes a decision he's there. That's it. If it fails it fails. He'll deal with the fall out later. Doesn't matter if he has a bad feeling. Doesn't matter if people tell him it's a horrible idea. Even though he is nearing 40 will not learn from thinking things through or people having lived through what ever it is and giving him advice. He has to make the mistake and learn it himself. It's why giving him the time and space for this mess has been easy. It's why I keep saying he'll go, and I'm ok with it. He will go. And I don't know if he'll learn in a month or 2 or 2 years.It's just who he is. And given where he's at 6 weeks from move out he will walk the line between me and her for the next 6 weeks and who knows how long after until reality slaps him directly in the face.
