Steve my other question is, one of his big complaints is a lack of affection. But he also has an emotional wall up. I don't want to pursue or beg, but if that's a complaint do I still follow the path of not initiating affection?
Complaints are words. What do his ACTIONS say? It is easy to say "one of the reason I want a D is because you don't give me affection like I want." WORDS. However, has he reached out for affection only to be rebuffed?
The 180 opportunity here isn't to start showing unsolicited affection. But be open to it IF he initiates it. Oh, and that also jives with DBing! So it is a win-win!
If I want affection, I initiate it with my W. She can't be a mind-reader to know when I desire it and when I don't.
His words are forming a complaint (believe nothing he says). But is he reaching out for affection? His actions speak louder than words.
See WASs come up with all kinds of excuses and complaints. Some of them valid, some just words. But even with the valid ones, it doesn't mean they are asking you to fix it. In fact, after BD you do more harm than good. ON BD: "You aren't affectionate enough so I want a D." Then the LBS gets all affectionate. The WAS "why are you doing this now after I've made my decision?!?" See?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
