Hey May, I think the path thing definitely has some merit to it. But it got a little contentious when I said he picked the path with her because it’s just easier. He said that he didn’t feel that way. That picking me would’ve been easier because of the comfort factor and less people hurt. And then I explained why I felt the way I did. That everything with her is new and shiny and it’s all possibilities. It also has no depth or breadth so it’s just figure it out and hope for the best. Staying with me means work. Digging deep and therapy. And probably a marriage retreat. And apologies to a number of people. Starting from scratch with this baggage like an albatross until we start making some serious progress. All things he hates. Emotional work, open communication and complicated situations to navigate.
You never know what the AP and H are talking about either. I have had this convo what feels like 100 times with WW. Her AP felt that staying with me would be the easiest choice because we have a comfortable life together and I'm more financially stable. At one point, it almost felt like WW was choosing the more difficult journey just to prove she could do it (ego?). She has never needed me or the financial stability but for whatever reason the "path" controversy in her head made her feel as though she needed to prove it. H may have seemed contentious because of the same reasons (or variations of the same). All you can do while he's going back and forth thinking all of it through is work on your own sanity and peace of mind. Listen, don't grasp onto anything he says, and work on becoming the best WF for WF.
You're in for a long ride with H figuring out what he wants out of life, but either outcome, you've got this!
KG
LBW 32 - me WW 31 T 7 M 4 No Kids 4 dogs
Separated 1y Navigating the mine field and GAL with or without
