So after the ridiculously long R talk on Saturday things have only gotten more strange. H started texting me like a lot. Even for him. A lot. He was out with OW that night and was texting me. Granted it was about the kids, and making sure I got home safe. But still that's new.

Part of our R convo I brought up something Kristin G and I had talked about where I've been withholding things. like memes, shows, movies, songs,etc. that I thought he'd like because I didn't feel like he was my friend any more and frankly that he didn't deserve them. He was actually kinda hurt by that so I offered to let him have one thing every other day, if he deserves it, wink, wink. Seriously this seduction game crap is really awful and I didn't know that we'd ever be at a point where I thought I'd need to play it. Nor did I think this flirty BS would have any effect on him whatsoever. I also really just didn't want to do it. Keeping him on the line is way more work than a nearly 37 year old married person should have to do...lol.

Saturday was just a lot for me so yesterday I basically ignored him. I sent him nothing, I didn't say much in person. I laid in my bed without saying good night. So what does he do, he sent me a funny meme, and we texted each other funny flirty BS while he was laying on the couch and I was laying in our (my) bed for over an hour. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing here. Frankly I don't know wth I'm doing. I don't know if I'm supposed to lean into this. Or pull away. If this is going to blow up in my face or if this is what he's looking for. Lord knows this is what I'm looking for, I missed this. And I'm sorry, and I know it's childish, but if he's laying there texting me he isn't laying there rapid fire texting her. And I know I shouldn't be competing with her. But that type A is hard to break even in this situation. Muffin shop is still closed until further notice this isn't enough to pry that door open again. But I do like feeling like I have at least a little pull in the relationship again vs him doing the pulling or us existing in our separate corners at all times. I just don't want to make things worse and I have no idea how to gauge that.