I have let him have things pretty much his way. If I start acting irrationally now, he will retaliate.
First instinct when reading this is "Well, too darned bad for him". Because who are we to subvert our needs to another's? Can't they be on equal footing? But then...we get to priorities.
My priority (for ME - I'm sure others have different experiences and will state so) was an amicable D. Over being "right", over being heard, over any of the physical items in our home. I just did not want any escalation of any kind because I knew it would hurt me emotionally and I knew in the long run it would cost me more financially. So that was my conscious choice. It sounds like you're leaning that way too, but I hope you really consider it and just confirm that's your plan of action. Just so you are firm in whatever your decision is.
This was how I let go of my need to say my piece. I am okay with not having said everything I wanted to say. I knew it was secondary to my decision on not fighting.
I know you have a weird week ahead of you without the kids but also with mediation. You will get through it. Be productive with your time - plan your life, get ahead on items - it will help with the stress you're feeling. Nothing quite like taking care of your future in the present. Or maybe it's just procrastinators like me that are amazed when things like that happen. You seem like a woman who really has her stuff sorted out.
