[SteveLW]

Scott, why are you meeting with the pastor? Was this her idea or yours?

I have seen this in a handful of sitches and it really applies in yours: you need a break from your sitch. It sounds like for 4 years this has consumed you. You can't GAL because your head is filled with ideas of ways to save your marriage. (None have much of a chance of working, BTW.) You can't 180 because all of your energy is wrapped up in planning, conniving, figuring out how, and enacting these actions. And you certainly can never detach properly when this is on your mind 24/7.

I'd love to see one post from you that lays out how you are going to stay busy for the next 7+ days that have NOTHING to do with your sitch. Whether it is hanging with a friend, going to a sporting event, going to the gun range, running a marathon, climbing mount everest, skydiving....IDC what, just anything to keep your mind active and keep you away from your sitch for at least a week. So you can breathe and get a fresh perspective on your sitch.