Feeling pretty down today. No particular reason...lots of little ones, I guess.
Pretty stressed out about this upcoming interview and feeling not very confident. Imposter Syndrome is alive and well in my head...lol.
Never really celebrated Valentine’s Day much or cared much about it but somehow not having anyone special in my life has me feeling kind of empty.
Brook has been a big fat disappointment. He told me he got divorced around the same time as me but I think maybe his marriage hasn’t been over as long as mine has. His reaction to his XW’s possible affair illustrates that and there are pictures of them on FB still wearing wedding rings last June. In August, he started posting inspirational quotes about life’s journey, change, etc...so it looks as if he is six months post separation/divorce at best. That’s not a lot of time so I guess he did me a favour disappearing. Still...I feel like we were becoming friends so it is hard not to take the radio silencelkkllklk personally.
And I miss Jack even though I know I did the right thing breaking up with him. But I do miss his hugs and his steady presence every weekend. And it kills me to know that he is sad and misses me and I can’t comfort him.... that I am the last person who can do that. I think that is what has gotten me down the most today for some reason. I guess when someone offers you love and you turn it down...because it isn’t enough...it feels selfish...and part of you wonders if you will ever be offered it again...by anyone. So...worst thoughts...written down. Feels only marginally better. (((HUGS))) to all. xo
