#1 does terrify me. She confuses me. She says I'm a safety risk, yet I have them 4 straight nights every 2 weeks.
I think the safety risk thing is BS. And she clearly knows it is BS or she wouldn't be OK with this arrangement. You have to just stop worrying about this because she's using it as a weapon to get you to do what she wants.
Originally Posted by unchien
But to be honest, what is holding me back is worrying about HER reaction and worrying about how that may impact my kids. Maybe they will resent me if they see what happens to their mother. I know I cannot control those things, but it is really hard to let those go. Harder than letting my W go. The thought that I am not doing right by my kids keeps me up at night.
This is super hard and I just don't have any advice for you. I think about this a lot too, like wouldn't it be in my best interest to remain BFFs with my H if we D for the sake of our children (he has said this to me a lot... like you say you'll do *anything* for them but if that is true, why won't you consider this?). And yet. I do think there is a good deal of research out there about the importance of having both parents play a major role in the lives of the children, especially for boys to have their dad be very present. Maybe you can do some research around some of these studies to help your decision, knowing that the data show this will be best for your kids in the long run, even if it is more difficult in the short term.
Hang in there and hope you have a great day and weekend and can take a little bit of mental time away from this issue. You know you're an amazing dad.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
