May- thank you! I think reading here and being prepared for the craziness helped A LOT. Because many things do happen by the book. So it allows me to detach and not think my sitch is anything special, because I’ve read crazier things here!!
Originally Posted by wayfarer
He likes to leave out the part after that where I said "Because none of that mattered to me. What we had mattered to me." That was a jugular move on my part, fed right into his insecurities. And now I'm stuck with him fixated on that. Ugh..these guys and their egos.
First of all, wow. Your OW situation sounds way too complicated. It seems to me that knowing who she is definitely makes this whole thing that much harder. I feel for you. And this above makes me giggle too. Guys and their egos!!!! Their egos stand in the way of other more important things too much. I know my H has always been insecure deep down. The few big fights we had during our M was when I was out with my friends and either forgot to call him/he couldn’t get a hold of me or I didn’t tell him about my history with an ex etc. he’s always made such a big deal out of “trust”...I know trust is important but I knew there was something wrong with his version. which I think back now and I think many times he turned things around and emotional blackmailed me. It was emotional abuse. I was so afraid. Which leads to now....I have little hope of him being able to have the aha moment to realize what deep sh1t he’s in. His big fat ego will be hard for him to overcome. And then he has always been too busy victimizing himself to know what he’s doing to me.
Gosh. It doesn’t make me feel good but my H sure sounds like your ex. He was drinking when the above episode happened, but I couldn’t tell whether he was drunk. Usually it’s hard for me to tell unless he’s totally hammered. He even told me proudly that he wasn’t drinking that much everyday and few weeks ago he was able to stop for two weeks in preparation of a physical. (And he was going through all the withdrawal symptoms and couldn’t wait to get back to drinking but of course he left out that part)
I’m putting off the al-anon part but it’s on my mind.
Oh, and I need to share this. When I deny that I ever said that I’m looking for a man, he told me to stop acting like TRUMP with the alternative facts!!! This one will go into my H’s crazy quotes hall of fame.
